Nehemiah Wept

I read a great book recently - "Becomming Nehemiah - Leading with Significance" by David L. McKenna. As I read this and the book of Nehemiah, I journaled along the way. Over the next weeks, I'll be sharing things I have learned...maybe others can relate.

In Nehemiah 1, Nehemiah finds out some heart-breaking news – that his Jewish people, who had survived their exile in Babylon and returned to Jerusalem, now suffered greatly. Their walls were still crumbled around them and their gates were burned, leaving them exposed and unprotected from enemies. They were afraid, ashamed, weary, and demoralized. And I’m sure all these feelings meant their faith had taken a hit as well. When Nehemiah heard all this, he sat down and wept.

I can relate. I’ve wept as well over the past 2 years with Thrive. I’ve wept for fallen leaders, grievous sins, and the unintended consequences that have ricocheted through the ministry ever since. I’ve wept for those the Lord called to sacrifice everything to stand in the gap and lead through the most difficult times ever faced. And I wept in shock and frustration when we learned of the ultimate decision to close.

Compared to Jerusalem who had been in exile, I felt like we had been through the opposite - 2 years of being under siege. Restricted in many ways from moving forward with plans as ministry and personal matters were untangled. As I went out for my early morning runs, past the tornado-damaged cabins and burned conference center, my heart broke and my soul mourned for the situation. I earnestly prayed for an end to the siege, even giving God advice for how it should happen. And I poured out my frustrations to Him on more than one occasion. The Lord wants to share our hearts – our joys and our tears. It isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s just being authentic and affected and human.

So I know how Nehemiah felt when he heard the news and experienced the pain of his people. But like with Nehemiah, it raised up in me a desire to help, to be part of the solution, to come alongside the other faithful servants God was using to rebuild the ministry and restore it for His glory. Lucky for me I didn’t know exactly what that meant – eventually helping to launch a new ministry. In His infinite wisdom (and mercy) the Lord only revealed enough steps at a time to keep me moving.

Despite challenges, our programs thrived and had huge impact this year. This confirms to me that God is with us and His calling on my life hasn’t changed. The Lord still has a divine love and vision for Qwa Qwa, and an important mission to be carried out. So I thank God for replacing my tears and fears with expectancy and hope for the future. And I thank Him for igniting Ignite South Africa.