My Eyes Grow Weak

Psalm 6 echoes out from the depth of David’s struggles, from a soul weary of anguish, from a body and mind worn out from the burden of despair.  He teaches us that in our own struggles we can and should cry out to God.  The truth is that He’s there with us and there for us.

But the fact that David is drenched in tears, faint with sorrow, and weak from groaning out also tells us that his struggle is long-lasting.  I think our hardest struggles are the ones that seem to go on and on and on.  Those are the ones that can make us wonder where God is, to doubt His presence. 

We know God hears our prayers…but does he?  We know God is always with us…but is he?  We know God answers our prayers…but does he?  He does.  He is.  He does.  Although maybe not always in a way we expect or understand.

As I read through my journal I came across an entry from 3 months ago.  The day prior we didn’t have enough money in the bank to make payroll.  This year has been an ongoing financial struggle for Ignite and some months me personally.  Our leadership team had been praying, trusting, trying, and expecting God to provide each month…and that month He didn’t. 

So I did.  I emptied my account to make payroll and pay a few other bills to give us some breathing room.  But rather than seeing it as a way God provided for us and praising Him for it, I became angry, fearful and resentful because God seemed nowhere to be found. 

“My soul is in deep anguish. How long, Lord, how long?” (v6)

And why?  When battles rage on and on we tend to ask why?  Or maybe it’s just me.  On the one hand we should because if there is something we need to repent of or resolve in our own lives we need to do so. 

But after that, the why doesn’t matter.  From there we just need to press deeper into God and trust Him.  Trust that He’s with us.  Trust that He cares.  Trust that He’s in control.  Trust that He’s working and will, in time, deliver us.  And trust that He can and will redeem whatever was lost in the battle.

What does matter is who we become through the struggle.  Do we allow God to develop our spiritual maturity – faith, courage, perseverance, trust, prayer, fasting, etc.?  Struggles expose the chinks in our spiritual armor, those vulnerable places where a weapon can make solid contact.  Struggles raise the heat so that our impurities can rise to the surface and be drawn out.  We come out of them refined, stronger, better protected for the next struggle…because there will be one.

“My eyes grow weak with sorrow; they fail because of all my foes.” (v7)

For David, spiritual blindness was setting in, which was the case for me as well.  His cries to God turned to reasoning with God.  If you let me die, who’s going to praise you?  Wouldn’t you prefer praise?  I tried to reason with God as well.  It doesn’t really work.

Then somewhere in between verse 7 and 8 David rallies.  He realizes how weak he sounds.  He remembers God’s faithfulness.  He reminds himself that God has heard his cries and is fighting on his behalf.  David ends full of faith, convinced that he will be delivered and his enemies taken down.

My journal entry ended with “Lord, help me to rally like David did.”  And He did.  God is always with us.