“Let’s face it. Sometimes your past simply disqualifies you from doing certain things for God, but that doesn't mean He doesn't have another great plan for your life. “
So let me ask you this, does God really have a second-string?
I know that second-string isn't the best term to use, but you know where
I’m going with this…A team of disqualified people that he’s trying to use by
making “the best of it.” Because I've seen entire churches, ministries, and organizations led by broken,
put-back-together people.
Many years ago, a friend gave me this “wisdom” and “consolation”
as we talked about being called into full-time missions. He was sure, bold, moving full steam ahead. I was less sure, still seeking God’s will,
wanting more confirmation and preparation.
He equated my uncertainty with God’s
certainty that missions just wasn't for me.
You see, it was my divorce
that brought me back to the church.
I had been raised Christian, but somewhere along the way I
missed the part about having a personal relationship with Christ and living for
Him on a daily basis. My faith guaranteed
that I would go to heaven when I died, but it didn't really impact how I was to
live, if that makes sense. The result
was that good things in my life actually became obstacles or idols. 2 college degrees, a successful career, marriage,
a house, and all the other stuff needed to "keep up with the
Joneses." Each of these would be
blessings under the Lordship of Jesus Christ, but I didn't know that at the
time. So when my husband and I divorced after 3 years of marriage, my search for
purpose and meaning led me back to God and what it really means to be
born-again. I'm eternally grateful
that He welcomed me with open arms.
So…Did being divorced
disqualify me from entering the mission field?
Or from leading as a witness for God? Did I have to remarry to serve alongside a
husband? Was remarriage even an option
in God’s eyes? Did I need to remarry my
ex, or would being yoked with an unbeliever just compound the sin? I wrestled with these questions for many
years - with God, and with the help of godly leaders, mentors and teachers…all
the while feeling increased calling and confirmation to lead His work overseas.
In hindsight, I can see
how God used my friend to assure me of my calling. To guarantee it was deeply ingrained in my
heart. Because through 10 years in
missions and now 4 in the South African field, my calling has been questioned, doubted, shaken and attacked more times
than I can count. By Satan, by people, even
by me… It happens, again and again.
I know I have been
called by God. And anyone who has
walked my journey with me knows it too. Thankfully,
in my moments of doubt and weakness, God uses these loved ones to encourage and
remind me. And now that I’m wiser in
faith and stronger in my relationship with Christ, I realize that our pasts don’t disqualify us from being
used by God. Anyone who doubts that doubts the redemptive power of Christ. Because me being in the mission field, and me
leading in ministry, has nothing to do
with me and everything to do with God.
I Corinthians 1:27 says “But God chose the foolish things of
the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame
the strong.” We throw that verse around
a lot, often in mock humility. But God
really, really, truly, truly does use the foolish things. As one
of those foolish things, I know this from experience.
The deepest yearning of my heart is to remarry someday. To be yoked with a man who loves the Lord,
lives for Him, and has His heart for reaching the lost. God
knows my desire, cares about it, and will either fulfill it or change it
someday. But in the meantime, He and I
have some work to do.
I don’t think that
means as second-string, but I’m ok if it does.
What do you think?
